Rowing your parenthood boat might start gently, but that’s not how life works.
So, you noticed something different about your child or your child has told you they are different, either way It can be terrifying for you. In my case I was told directly from my child “Hey dad, I’m different.”
Your mind slows down to a halt, it rewinds to seconds before you heard your child speak these words Second before you where gliding thru time and everything was fine, and your boat is slow and steady gently down the stream. Seconds fly fast and suddenly the river becomes turbulent, it’s raining and dark, your boat starts to take in water your oars/paddleboards fall off, the boat tips inches from the water line just about to capsize….. The mind is going into panic mode. You feel as if you were falling without reaching a bottom end. But that’s not how it has to end. You simply are reacting to what you don’t know. This is the perfect moment to say knowledge is power. What you know will only give you more power, The power of understanding. Most people that read this blog realized that this already has happened to them. So what next? Does it matter what you said or your reaction? No. We’re time travelers and as we travel through time we cannot turn back the knobs of time. What we can do is understand, understand what we don’t understand. Seek knowledge. This is the point where I tell you to read a couple of books. On my resource page you will find various topics which I specifically point them out as “the new beginning.”
In the first scenario you see that your child behaves differently than from there gender standard that your use to. A good example a boy is playing with dolls. Or a girl is playing with cars. You realize that may seem harmless. Your first instinct is right. Kids are curious. They discovery mode is on since they open their eyes. (or senses) History has told us over and over and over that societies are conglomerates of conforming rules in which each individual should have a specific set of rules and roles to play by (note I said “play by”). Well life has changed since then and what was a “normal” is no longer “normal”. There are a few books to make reference on this subject and I will point you to the resources page for these individual snippets of information.
So how should I react when my child tells me they are trans?
Be calm, it must have taken them so much strength to muster up to tell you this information that they are betting 50/50 that this will go really well or really, really bad. Most kids know their parents well, they understand and know how you will take this news. But if you’re the kind of parent that does not want to hear them or ignore they know that this is the end your relationship with you. So what I’m saying is that they are prepared to receive a family loss.
Be calm, breathe they’re still your child no matter what they choose for themselves. Your parental status has not changed. And therefore, you should continue to love them for them. Show your kid that no matter what their likings are they are still your kid.